One last comment on the holiday season, as I have been out of writing mode since before Christmas.
I find it really sad that there is so much emphasis put on how "stressful" and "hard" the holidays are now. Examine the modern movies about Christmas just in the past few years, and the majority of the holiday movies are not about the joy of Christmas, or the excitement that children glean from waiting for Santa, but about how much people want to avoid their families and complain about them. Movies like Surviving Christmas, Four Christmases, The Family Stone, Home for the Holidays, and many many others all emphasize the dysfunctional family and how much people loathe being around their families. Why is it that when people have so much, all they can do is complain about and see the faults in the wonderful things that they have? Where has the Christmas spirit gone? I don't even need to get into consumerism at Christmastime, as it is a vile and rampant problem in our society and everyone knows about it (and contributes to it), myself included.
When you lose a family member, there is perpetually a hole in family gatherings, especially at Christmas. Instead of complaining, watching negative movies, and being a part of the general negativity towards family that our society seems to relish, it is a much healthier solution to embrace what you DO have. When you are sad about the absence of a special person, think of a way in which you can honor that person instead of being sad. Do little things to cheer up other members of your family- often trying to make someone else happy will make you happy yourself. Change up the seating plan around the dining room table. People often sit in the same place at big (and small) family gatherings, and if there is an empty chair where that special person used to sit, it will only be a reminder of what you are missing. Instead, move things around a bit. Change up the routine of the holiday. If your family is like mine, every Christmas day for the last thirty years has followed the exact same routine. When my mom died, we decided that we would change the routine so that the fact that mom wasn't there for Christmas wasn't the only thing that had changed. It helped a lot. Losing an important person means that your life will never be the same, but the fact that the person is gone doesn't have to be looming over you all the time, there are ways to make positivity happen again.
I find it really sad that there is so much emphasis put on how "stressful" and "hard" the holidays are now. Examine the modern movies about Christmas just in the past few years, and the majority of the holiday movies are not about the joy of Christmas, or the excitement that children glean from waiting for Santa, but about how much people want to avoid their families and complain about them. Movies like Surviving Christmas, Four Christmases, The Family Stone, Home for the Holidays, and many many others all emphasize the dysfunctional family and how much people loathe being around their families. Why is it that when people have so much, all they can do is complain about and see the faults in the wonderful things that they have? Where has the Christmas spirit gone? I don't even need to get into consumerism at Christmastime, as it is a vile and rampant problem in our society and everyone knows about it (and contributes to it), myself included.
When you lose a family member, there is perpetually a hole in family gatherings, especially at Christmas. Instead of complaining, watching negative movies, and being a part of the general negativity towards family that our society seems to relish, it is a much healthier solution to embrace what you DO have. When you are sad about the absence of a special person, think of a way in which you can honor that person instead of being sad. Do little things to cheer up other members of your family- often trying to make someone else happy will make you happy yourself. Change up the seating plan around the dining room table. People often sit in the same place at big (and small) family gatherings, and if there is an empty chair where that special person used to sit, it will only be a reminder of what you are missing. Instead, move things around a bit. Change up the routine of the holiday. If your family is like mine, every Christmas day for the last thirty years has followed the exact same routine. When my mom died, we decided that we would change the routine so that the fact that mom wasn't there for Christmas wasn't the only thing that had changed. It helped a lot. Losing an important person means that your life will never be the same, but the fact that the person is gone doesn't have to be looming over you all the time, there are ways to make positivity happen again.
1 comment:
I love this post and I completely agree with your sentiment about recent movies... two cheers for the revival of the happy Christmas movie!
I am glad that you are back in the blogging world and have found a positive solution for this holiday...
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