Yesterday's letter was to my friend Molly, who is having her first baby in April. Today's letter is to my mother.
Dear Mom,
I think about you about twenty times a day. I used to get really sad when I thought about you, but these days it is different. I miss you and wish you were still here, but now I feel a strange kind of happiness when I am reminded of you. I am filled with warmth of remembrance of what an amazing mom you were to me. I think about you when I am cooking and when I can't figure out if the meat I am stewing is done enough or not. (You would have known.) I think of you when a Broadway song is stuck in my head and I know you would be singing it with me if you were there with me. Where are you now? Here I am at this weird stage in my life, when I don't know what is next. All of the "givens" have been taken care of- growing up, going to school, finding love, figuring out my career goals, and now here I am. I want to have a baby now because it seems like the timely thing to do, but I am terrified of the emotions I am going to have when I hold my baby in my arms and you aren't there by my side. Sigh. I miss you.
1 comment:
love the picture that goes along with this blog, i think of her when i'm cooking and funny enough when i'm disciplining my kids and try and have a funny suebaby take on things...miss her too...
Post a Comment