Adoption

When you lose a parent, something that may or may not cross through your mind once or twice is adoption. I don't mean adopting a child for yourself, I mean trying to adopt someone to take the place of your lost parent. I've come across this issue on many occasions. I have considered my friends' mothers, my own mother-in-law, various female relatives, and many random strangers that I have come across in my daily life. I find that the moments when I feel the need to "adopt-a-mom" the most is when I am having a dilemma that would have been otherwise solved by my mother. Most of these dilemmas revolve around sewing, cooking, and family drama. I often find myself peering down the aisles in the fabric store, keeping my eye out for a new mom. I don't, of course, literally mean that I am searching for a new mom, because everyone knows that no one can ever replace your mother. I miss my mother every day. Sometimes in ways that I wouldn't even consider "missing" someone. There is just a constant reminder in my life that something is not the way it is supposed to be. It is a difficult thing to just get over too- wanting a new mom. I work in a cafe, and I have a regular customer that meets his mom for coffee every day, and there are days when I wish I could go and join them and have her give me advice and be a shoulder to lean on. I feel intense jealousy for my friends when they tell me that they just spent the day shopping with their mom, or went home for the weekend and spent quality time with their mom. It is something that I wish I didn't feel, but I can't help it. Feeling these feelings is normal, and the deal with dealing with death is that you have to become accustomed to your new sense of normal, whether you like it or not. You have to adjust, and you have to let yourself regress once in a while. It's okay.